Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Trusting Love



                The last few weeks I have been up throughout the night holding my little boy. He is teething and going through terrible pain that is keeping him up at night and during his normal nap times. As I sat and rocked my screaming child last night, my mind began to race: What must he be thinking right now? Is he wondering why I don’t love him enough to take away his pain? Is he frustrated because he thinks I am not understanding him when he is explaining that his mouth hurts? Is he getting impatient waiting for me to give him whatever he thinks will make the pain go away? I almost broke down into tears thinking that he might be losing faith in his mother’s love for him because I could not do anything to calm him down. After trying many different things, I finally found something that worked and put him to sleep.
                This morning my husband and I read Psalm 23 again. In this Psalm, David expresses his trust in the Lord. He trusts the Lord to care for him even in the midst of danger. He trusts the Lord to give him peace, goodness, and mercy as He guides David through life. I began to think about how the Lord must feel when we doubt Him in the mist of our pain.
                Do I question whether the Lord loves me when I am going through a hard time? Do I get frustrated because I feel like the Lord does not understand me? Do I get impatient because I feel like the Lord is keeping something from me? What is the Lord really doing when something bad happens in my life? I think He is trying whatever works to help me overcome the pain. I think He is probably wishing He could take away ever tear and every tragedy in life (which is why He promises no tears or sadness in the life to come). Do I trust the Lord’s guidance and love?
                Dear Lord, please help me to remember that even in the hardest times in my life, You are here to comfort me and care for me. Help me not to doubt Your love for me or become impatient or frustrated with You. Thank You for always staying with me even when I do not see that You are here. Amen.

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