The
last few weeks I have been up throughout the night holding my little boy. He is
teething and going through terrible pain that is keeping him up at night and during
his normal nap times. As I sat and rocked my screaming child last night, my
mind began to race: What must he be
thinking right now? Is he wondering why I don’t love him enough to take away
his pain? Is he frustrated because he thinks I am not understanding him when he
is explaining that his mouth hurts? Is he getting impatient waiting for me to
give him whatever he thinks will make the pain go away? I almost broke down
into tears thinking that he might be losing faith in his mother’s love for him
because I could not do anything to calm him down. After trying many different
things, I finally found something that worked and put him to sleep.
This morning
my husband and I read Psalm 23 again. In this Psalm, David expresses his trust
in the Lord. He trusts the Lord to care for him even in the midst of danger. He
trusts the Lord to give him peace, goodness, and mercy as He guides David
through life. I began to think about how the Lord must feel when we doubt Him
in the mist of our pain.
Do I
question whether the Lord loves me when I am going through a hard time? Do I
get frustrated because I feel like the Lord does not understand me? Do I get
impatient because I feel like the Lord is keeping something from me? What is
the Lord really doing when something bad happens in my life? I think He is
trying whatever works to help me overcome the pain. I think He is probably
wishing He could take away ever tear and every tragedy in life (which is why He
promises no tears or sadness in the life to come). Do I trust the Lord’s
guidance and love?
Dear
Lord, please help me to remember that even in the hardest times in my life, You
are here to comfort me and care for me. Help me not to doubt Your love for me
or become impatient or frustrated with You. Thank You for always staying with
me even when I do not see that You are here. Amen.
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