Stuck in Mistakes

                When I was a child, I remember often trying to hide my mistakes. If I ever broke something or did anything wrong, I would lie or do my best to let my parents assume it was someone else’s fault. It was as if I thought that if I was not perfect, I did not deserve to be loved, or that because I did something bad, that meant I was a bad person. My husband and I swore build a safe home with one another in which we were free to make mistakes without feeling guilt or the need to hide our faults from one

another. Recently though, I have found myself slipping back into old habits. Even with someone that I love and trust, it is very hard to admit when I have done wrong or made a mistake, but after I do it is much easier not to make that same mistake again.

My son with his head stuck in our furniture

                This morning I read James 5 which holds a lot of life altering material. James describes a community of believers that is supportive and patient with one another. He starts out by warning the rich that they will receive justice in the end for not paying their workers fairly. Then he tells believers to be patient and wait for the Lord to return and bring with him justice. He tells us not to complain about or judge one another but to leave judgment for the Lord. He also warns us not to give other people room to judge us harshly by being truthful with one another. Then he tells us to pray for one another and understand the importance and power of prayer. He tells us to pray earnestly for each other to turn away from sin. He tells us to confess our sins to other believers so that they may pray for us and help us turn from our sin.

                If it is hard for me to admit to my husband (who I know will always love me) that I have done something wrong, then admitting it to a fellow believer and then asking for prayer seems almost impossible. Am I humble enough to admit when I have a problem and ask for help? Am I confident enough in the Lords love for me that I am able to admit that I am not perfect and let someone else potentially look down on me for that? What about the other way around? Am I truthful and trustworthy enough that someone else would feel comfortable and safe to ask for my prayer to overcome sin in their life? Do I judge other people I think (or know) are in sin instead of trying to help them out of it? Do I gossip about others? What would I have to change in myself to fit into the supportive environment of believers that James is describing?

                Lord, please help me to no longer be childish about my mistakes and sins by covering them up. Please help me to be a person that can admit when I have done wrong and do my best to change. Help me to be truthful, nonjudgmental, and not gossip so that those around me feel safe to be themselves and make mistake and admit when they need help. Amen.