5 o'clock Traffic

                Psalm 2:7-9 says, “I will declare the Lord’s decree: He said to Me, ‘You are My Son, today I have become Your Father. Ask of Me, and I will make the nations Your inheritance and the ends of the earth Your possession. You will break them with a rod of iron; You will shatter them like pottery.’”

                In the highs and lows of our daily lives, it is easy to quickly lose perspective. This weekend I faced some of the most frustrating traffic that I have seen in quite a while. It seemed to me that everyone on the road was angry and convinced that all of the other drivers were out to get them. There were cars weaving in and out of lanes and then shooting down side roads to find the fastest route to where they wanted to be. There were other cars that did not seem to know which way they were going and may have even forgotten they were on the road at all. Everyone had an agenda and no one was going to get in their way. In the mean time, the sun was setting in front of all of the cars headed my direction. In the mists of everyone’s deep frustration, the Lord was painting a beautiful sunset in the clouds. I could not help but think that if the Earth were to be pushed slightly out of its orbit at that very moment and were just a bit further away from that beautiful sun, no one on earth would exist anymore. All of the problems that seemed so important would be quickly forgotten and everything on earth would stand still. It is only by the grace of God that we continue about our daily lives and it is easy to forget His strength.

                This verse in Psalm 2 reminded me again of God’s power. He calls us His children and can offer us anything in the universe as our inheritance. How is it then that in just one day my perspective shifted so much? Instead of considering the God of the universe as my father, I had narrowed my perspective to just earth, just my country, just my state, just my city, just my home, just my life and my problems. How would my Monday be different if my perspective were not so narrow? If when I walked away from this computer, I remembered to consider that my Father is King of the universe…and He made it!? I think it would be a bit easier to let go of some of the little things.

                Dear Lord, thank You for making me Your daughter and giving me such a beautiful husband and son. Help me to remember Your strength in light of problems I consider immovable. Show me how to live worthy of the life You have given me. Amen.  

Gentle Wisdom

My son about to disappear behind the couch

                When was the last time you thought about the story of the sword and the stone? If it has been a while, here is a refresher (at least the way I remember it): Once there was a city without a real king and things fell into chaos. People began to look everywhere for a proper king, but the true air to the thrown could only be the one to remove Excalibur the sword from a large stone that it had been trapped in. Many men from all around came to try to pull the sword from the stone and were unsuccessful. No amount of strength could be used to free the sword. Finally, a young orphan boy came along and thought that if strength could not remove the sword, perhaps gentleness could. He very carefully pulled the sword from the stone and became one of the greatest kings that land had ever seen. This story came to my mind after reading James chapter 3.

                At the end of this chapter, James says that whoever has wisdom should show that wisdom through gentleness. If your goals are selfish, he says, than you should not try to brag about your accomplishments or deny that you are motivated by your own gain or pretend that pursing these things makes you wise because the type of wisdom that is selfish James says is demonic. True wisdom is without favoritism or hypocrisy and brings with it peace wherever it goes.

                When my life falls into chaos, my first reaction is to fight anyone who comes close. It is easy to lash out when we are upset, but I never thought about it being wise to respond to chaos with gentleness. What is my first reaction in the face of trouble? What do my actions reveal about my wisdom? Do I consider myself wise because of my own pursuits? How should my heart and attitude change in order to respond with gentleness the next time I am faced with chaos?

                Dear Lord, please help me to be wise and respond to some of the hectic things in my life with gentleness rather than anger. Help me to be patient with the things in my life that do not go the way I expect them to. Amen.

Selfish Faith

                I feel as if I was lied to when I was told by friends, relatives, and experts through their written works that my baby would start sleeping through the night between 6 and 8 weeks old. Around that age, he did start sleeping through the night…for about a month. It may have been closer to 2 months before he started waking up throughout the night again. My husband warned me that around 4 months he might start waking up again. I assumed that it would last about a month and then we would start sleeping again, but at around 5 months my son’s teething pains got much worse. Now, at almost 7 months, my son still has not started sleeping through the night again and he has no teeth to show for it. Last night was particularly bad because I only saw my own bedroom for a collective 4.5 hours. The rest of my night I spent begging God to put my little boy to sleep and take away his pain so that I could rest. It was one of those times that my mom used to describe as “feeling like your prayers are bouncing off the roof and coming back down just to hit you in the face again.” I kept reminding myself that one day my son will be old enough understand that he should not pull my hair, ears, and necklace in the middle of the night even though right now he only seems to understand what I can do for him, not how his behavior affects me.

                James 4 continues with a strong message for believers. James says that are at war with our own desires and they quickly lead us astray. We try to pursue our own selfish goals instead of asking God for what we need. When we do ask the Lord for things, it is with the wrong motives. We ask like we are infants only understanding what God can do for us instead of considering how it affects His plans and the work of His kingdom. James says we should humble ourselves instead of pursing wealth and greed like the world around us. He says we should not judge one another or criticize each other because it is not our place. He concludes by saying that we should pursue the will of the Lord rather than assuming we know what the next day will bring.

                Recently, my husband and I had a finder-binder up the road from our house. My first response from my heart was, “The Lord must have a reason for this! I am so grateful that no one was hurt, we have insurance, we were not in a rush to get anywhere important, and we are very close to home.” It is the small things in which I struggle to see God’s hand. Being up last night caring for my son, I was sure all hope was lost. After reading James I was convicted at my hesitance to believe God has a purpose for the many sleepless nights that come with raising a child. Rather than selfishly asking God to take care of my son so I can sleep, I should be asking for the strength and patience needed to stay up as long as it takes. What other “little things” have I let become road blogs to my faith? Do I pray selfishly or with the Lord’s will in mind? Am I pursing my own desires, or the desires of the Lord?

                Dear Lord, please help me to develop strength and patience in raising my son. Please help me not to be sidetracked in my faith by little things but to trust you in all things big or small. Help me to pray for your will rather than pursue what the world tells me I need to be happy. Amen.

Evidence of Love

                My husband is a very romantic man, but even if he were not, his love for me and our son is evident. He works hard every day to come home on time to spend his evenings with us. On the weekends, he rarely does anything on his own. Even when he washes his car we are invited to join him outside and spend time with him while he is cleaning it up. He often does dishes, laundry, and other cleaning to try to give me a break from the house chores. He says goodbye to our son every morning before work and says goodnight every night before bed.   What is more is that these are not things he thinks about before he does them, they come naturally to him out of his love for us. If he were to say that he loved me and then try his best to avoid me and never consider my feelings, then what is the point of love? I was considering this after reading further in James.

                James is a very bold writer who is not afraid to make his point. At the end of James 2, he is explaining the relationship between faith and works. He says it is not enough just to believe in God because even the demons believe He exists. If faith is really faith, then it cannot exist without works. Our good deeds do not make us deserving of eternity with God; only Christ’s sacrifice can do that for us. At the same time, it does not make sense to have faith without works. This would be the same as if I claimed to love my husband but I always complained about him and treated him with disrespect. You would probably think I was lying (and I would be). Similarly, James says that faith without works is dead.

                If someone else were to look at my life, would they see my faith through my actions? Do I act as if I really believe what I say I believe? Do my actions reveal that I love God or do I act like I do not think about Him or know He exists? What changes do I need to make in my heart to make my faith genuine?

                Dear Lord, help me to have genuine faith in You. Please help me to show You my love for You in every task I am presented with throughout the day. Please help me to live what I believe. Amen.

The Night Shift

                Recently I read something that said the majority of men pretend to be asleep to avoid having to get up to take care of their children. When I told my husband about this, I was surprised to hear him admit to having done this several times. This surprised me because he is a very supportive man who would do anything for me or our son. I told him that I would rather him keep sleeping than get up at night because he has to get up for early work every day and I can drink as much coffee as I need to throughout the day to stay awake. Ever since then the thought of him being awake while I am with our crying son has weighed on my thoughts. I often wonder if he can hear how upset we both are or if he is really asleep. If he does not wake up to help out, there is no real way for me to know.

                The end of James 1 tells us to rid ourselves of evil. James says to be “quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” He says anger never accomplishes God’s will. Then he tells us to not just hear the Word, but to apply the Word of God to our lives. He describes hearing the Word of God as revealing to us who we are in God’s eyes. If you walk away and immediately forget who you are in Christ, then you will act like your old self. On the other hand, if you remember who Christ has made you to be, you will live out the Word He has given us. After this James seems to give us an application of this by telling us to control our tongue.

                Am I one that reads the Word and immediately forgets who I am in Christ? How will anyone see Christ in me if I simply hear and do not act on the Word of God? Am I in control of my tongue and my anger, or do I react quickly to things that frustrate me?

                God, please help me to practice controlling my tongue and my anger. Help me to live according to the purpose You have for me. Help me not to forget who You have made me to be, but instead help me to listen and follow Your direction. Amen.