Questions

                One day last week my husband came home and I was in a mood. Not long after he had walked in the door, I said something to him that could easily have started an argument. Being the good man that he is, he did not react to the comment, but apologized and we continued our evening. It was not much later that I once again heard myself trying to start an argument. I knew what I was saying was wrong; I just could not seem to help myself. Once again, my husband defused the situation and asked me, “Emily, what’s wrong? You seem to be upset tonight: do you want to talk about it?” Finally I broke down and apologized. I explained that earlier that day I had gone from anger to crying to joy all over the course of a half hour so it must be hormone related and should pass in a few days. Because he is a very understanding man, he was able to show me lots of grace for the next few days until the hormones passed.

                In Matthew 22, many religious leaders come to Jesus with questions they think will trick Him into saying something they can use to throw Him in jail. They ask him about the law, about paying taxes, about their religious ancestors, and more. Jesus, however, does not miss a beat. He answers each question without hesitation in a way that is both truthful and does not incriminate Him. Finally, He addresses the root of the religious leaders’ disbelief by asking, “What do you think about the Messiah? Whose Son is He?” They reveal that they believe the Messiah is a man rather than God. Jesus then forces them to confront that disbelief by showing in the Scriptures that the Messiah is God. The religious leaders then chose to continue in their disbelief and refuse to acknowledge the Messiah as God.

                When I question God, what is the root of my disbelief? Sometimes I may question if God is really listening to my prayers. Will He really be there for me when I share the gospel with someone I know? Are my prayers really as important as everyone else? Do I really have to work to follow Christ like the Bible says or is just believing He exist enough? If I am honest with myself, the root of most of my disbelief is my own selfish desire not to do anything uncomfortable. I do not want to be held responsible for what I pray for or sharing the gospel with other people. Sometimes its root is the fear of making mistakes. Sometimes it is a lack of confidence that I am who God says that I am. The Lord wants to help us find the root of our disbelief so that we may overcome it and not get caught up in silly questions.

                God, help me not to question You. Help me to admit my disbelief and admit the root of that disbelief so that I may get rid of it. Thanking You for Your patience with me as I work to be the child you deserve. Amen.