Fears and Failures

                One of my biggest struggles since my son was born has been overcoming the fear that I will take this perfect little baby God has given me and be a less than perfect mother. This was not a problem for me before my son was born and it is not something I often think about, but the feeling comes up every time I realize I’ve made a mistake.  One day I spent almost an hour trying to put my son to sleep while he was yelling at the top of his lungs before I finally realized that he must be hungry. I felt so guilty I broke down into tears. Anytime I lose my patience or he gets hurt, I just want to cry because I feel like I have failed him.

                Romans 3 explains (in a very analytical) way that the law reveals everyone to be full of sin. One verse refers to humanity by saying “Their throat is an open grave; they deceive with their tongues. Vipers’ venom is under their lips.” No matter how hard someone might try, they end up stained with their own sinful acts. No one can obey the law; the law will reveal that each person is filthy with sin. The chapter goes on to say that it is because of this that God sent Jesus to stand in for humanity. Jesus has covered our mistakes with his sacrifice and we accept this through faith in Jesus.

                I am honored to call God my Father and have experienced a lot of healing through His perfect parenting. Although I cannot be a perfect parent to my son, I am comforted to know that God loves my son even more than I am capable of. The Lord is able to overcome and bring healing to any pain, hardship, or parenting mistake in someone’s life and I pray that my son will accept Him as his Father one day. So if I know God is for me, why hold on to these fears and insecurities? What would I be capable of if I did not allow insecurity and fears to hinder me?

                Dear Lord, thank You for the healing and love that you have brought me. Please guide my son’s heart toward You as he grows. Thank You for overcoming my sin with your sacrifice. Please help me to be free of fear and insecurity to effectively do what You have made me to do. Amen.