Fear of Love

                It must have been around the first time my son gave me a big hug that I first had the thought that has haunted me ever since. That is no matter how hard I try to maintain this image of perfection that I present to my son, he will one day see many if not all of my shortcomings. There will be a day that I lose my temper and wrongfully take it out on him, and a day when I disappoint him by going back on a promise I should not have made. For now I am grateful to be in the baby years in which he will forget about all of the blunders I make in his presence, but there will come a day when he sees and remembers that I have done something that makes me undeserving of the love children so freely give to their parents and I dread its coming. I can only do my best to be the woman and mother God has made me to be and hope that as my son grows he will forgive me for the mistakes I am bound to make.

                I think we often have a similar fear in our relationship with God. At one time, I felt ashamed and afraid to show God any flaw in my character. I thought if I was not perfect in His eyes then he would not love me the same way. I was afraid to admit even to myself that I sometimes do more wrong than just telling a few “white lies.” In doing this, I missed out on the powerful love of God. When I began to truly believe that God knew even the most evil parts of my heart and He still loved me and chooses by His own desire to call me his child, God’s love and forgiveness was finally real to me and became so much more powerful in my life. 1 John 4:17-19 says, “In this, love is perfected with us so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, for we are as He is in this world. There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because He first loved us.”

                When I take a minute to think about a love that is so strong there is nothing I have ever said, done, or thought that has weakened it, I can no longer hold on to my fear and I feel unshakable. This is the type of love we are meant to share with the world. In light of this, do I love in the same way that God loves me? Do I give forgiveness easily or do I expect other’s in my life to be perfect? Have I accepted that I am worthy of the love God has given me because He has chosen to give me that love?

                Lord, please help me to accept Your love which drives out all fear. Help me to love those in my life with a love that overcomes failures and forgives. Amen.